How Great Is Our God

I have a feeling that the more the Lord does, the more I will be blogging through out the week - not just once a week.
It's Wednesday, 6pm here and this is by far the most emotional / intense / good weeks I have had since being here.
Monday lectures were pretty much the same as usual... We opened the week with a new topic "The Character of God". There were some key things that were said that really stood out to me
1) In order to hear and obey, we have to trust. And in order to trust, we have to see the full true character
2) Belief --> Emotions --> Behavior
3) When something triggers you, is when you see what you really believe.
4) we need to bridge the gap between what we say we believe and what we really believe.
5) past experiences --> Perspective (lenses) --> Scripture, God, Self.

Then we went on to talk about things that benefit knowing God. Are we living out of truth, or are we living out of our past experiences? And this is something that really hit me. So many of the times I will say I believe something, and I think I believe a part of it... but not enough to walk it out the way I am called to, and the way I really desire to. So many of the times, we relate our current situation to past situations. Whether they are good or bad things in the past that have happened. For instance, I have been extremely hurt in friendships - and so automatically in friendships I put up this wall, without even knowing it, that says "you can go this far, and only this far." And then with the Lord, I have put up these expectations, and then if they aren't met - I blame it on the Lord not giving me what I want.. and so I get into a situation and at first allow the Lord to fully take over, then when it gets to a part where I believe I know better... I take over.
Then another quote came up that really hit me "It is not ours to redefine God to fit an image that we prefer. It is our to look at God & redefine who we are." I believe that fits perfectly what what I just said... I cannot change my past, but what I can change is NOW, and LATER... and I can change it for the BEST, if I am willing to let the Lord have full control... if I start to redefine myself to God, instead of trying to redefine God... which is ridiculous, haha. So if we have tried to redefine God... we need to re-redefine Him, as TRUTH - back into what and who He really is... not what we have believed in the past that has made us insecure in who we are, and fearful of what we cannot control. When we know the TRUE God, it will effect everything in our lives, we will no longer live normal lives because we do not serve a normal God.

So day two comes around (yesterday - Tuesday). It starts out normal. We begin with some intersession for people still needing money for lecture & outreach phase (which by the way somebody got all of their stuff covered and then some! God is answering prayers FAST here). So yeah things are going okay... but just okay. I keep feeling this complete block. Like, all the information we are learning about is SO good, but it has just been information. It gets to my head and then stops. I had felt this way about Monday, and the week past (the revelation of what I just wrote came later though). So I'm sitting there, sitting with my pride and expectations and comparisons and I'm like "okay Lord... I paid all this money, I flew all this way, I left so many people that I love with my whole heart... and I'm not getting anywhere. Are you doing something in my spirit that my body hasn't reacted with yet or is this really just deadness?" So a little bit after I had started expressing myself to the Lord... our speaker just stops in the middle of the lecture and starts saying how something is wrong.... there is some sort of a block and just something feels off... he then proceeds to give us a break. I went talked with my friend and we went to our leader and kind of expressed how we felt like something was wrong as well. We didn't understand if it was something in ourselves that needed to be broken off or if it was the focus as a group was off... We didn't understand but we explained our frustration.
So we after the break we had a little worship and we all wrote down things that we wanted to leave behind us. Things that we were sick of holding onto, and really wanted to give to the Lord and not carry them any longer. This was a true act of surrendering what we had to the Lord, and not caring about what we could produce on our own - because its nothing at all. A few things I gave up were
1) my pride. In thinking that I can't learn any more in a situation. Thinking "oh I can just breeze through this lecture so other people can learn... but I've reached the most of what I can learn from it."
2) every part of me that doesn't agree with what God is doing.
3) my will.
4) my heart - my aches and pains, the confusion and doubt & lack of passion. I do not want my past experiences to keep me from entering fully into what God has for me every day. I do not want to be fearful... because if I am fearful, I am losing sight of GOD and putting my site on earthly things... because "Perfect love casts out ALL fear".
5) distractions. Things that even are wonderful, but are taking my attention away from the Lord. Whether that's going out late at night and losing sleep, or relationships, or mindsets.

So as I am writing all of this... I am so excited, but at the same time it's almost like a funeral. I'm still calling out to God to give me the joy of giving up things so I can press into what He has more than anything else in my life. So then the Lord gives me Psalm 20 - Which says this:

^1-4 God answer you on the day you crash, The name God-of-Jacob put you out of harm's reach,
Send reinforcements from Holy Hill,
Dispatch from Zion fresh supplies,
Exclaim over your offerings,
Celebrate your sacrifices,
Give you what your heart desires,
Accomplish your plans.
⁵ When you win, we plan to raise the roof
and lead the parade with our banners.
May all your wishes come true!
⁶ That clinches it—help's coming,
an answer's on the way,
everything's going to work out.
^7-8 See those people polishing their chariots,
and those others grooming their horses?
But we're making garlands for God our God.
The chariots will rust,
those horses pull up lame—
and we'll be on our feet, standing tall.
⁹ Make the king a winner, God;
the day we call, give us your answer.

((Side Note: Throughout this whole journey, I have been learning the faithfulness of the Lord. I have never gotten so many bible verses that have lifted me up and said EXACTLY what I needed to hear. That is truly an answer to a prayer that I've been praying for a very long time!!))

So after this we all got into a circle (about 50-60 of us) and one by one, we ripped up what we wanted to leave behind and threw it into the trashcan. It was beautiful. Some were smiling, some were crying, some said words, others silent... but over all I could only feel the presence of the Lord, and see God smiling down on us... in excitement that we have humbled ourselves and really made such a statement to pursue Him past what ourselves can do on our own.
As the day progressed it was good and bad. I had finally felt again. I felt something was getting to my heart, which was awesome, but at the same time I was feeling feelings of missing home, missing my friends & family mixed with the excitement for the next 6 months... and once you mix such intense and opposite feelings - things get intense and exhausting. But over all it was such a blessing to feel again !!
The night ended with half of our group going downtown Kona and doing a "Treasure Hunt." This is where you pray as a team and individually and ask the Lord for a person, name, characteristics, feelings, whatever really He wants to give you. You write it down on your paper and you go to wherever the Lord tells you to go and hunt your treasure. Then the other half of us stayed and did intersession with our leaders. We interceeded for things that are going on in Kona really intensley. They were Domestic Violence, Drug Abuse (mainly Meth), Sex Trafficking (in Kona & Hilo), Treasure Hunting Team, Homeless, & Abortion. It was a great time to be able to go after things like this - I loved it.

So then there was today !! We continued on with The Character Of God. Wow, Wow, Wow is the only way I could sum God up. We talked about Holiness and Majesty - what they mean and what they mean in applying them to our lives. One quote that our main leader Paul Childers said is this "If you have some sense of God, it's awesome. If you have full sense of who God is, it's awefull." Read it again until you understand! So cool! haha
So that was all great, then we watched an incredible video. I can't even begin to explain to you how much it pumped me up and humbled me all at once. If you are willing, I encourage you with all that I am to PLEASE watch this video... It doesn't take up too much time, and its SO worth listening to. It's about the incredibleness of who God is, and it will completely blow your mind!!! It is about combining God with Science... it's ridiculous, haha.
So here is the link. The guys name is Lou Giglio and the series he talks on is "How Great is Our God" There are at least 5 parts, not very long each one... so PLEASE watch it when you have time!
Lou Giglio - How Great Is Our God Series

So, needless to say - the Lord is doing so much. I feel like I am on a emotional roller coaster, but my mom told me earlier " well it seems like the Lord is doing stuff in you, even though you might not understand it all. Don't fight it, go with it." So I am holding onto those words. The Lord does stuff, even when we don't understand... and most of the time we DON'T understand it. That is where faith and trust start falling into place.

A lot of people have been asking me what to pray for... I'd say
1) that the Lords will be done, above ALL else.
2) that He pours down strength, and that I am positioned to see all that he's doing, and hear all that he's saying.
and 3) that the provision for the rest of my trip will come in!! At the moment I need about $3,500-$4,000 I believe. If you feel the Lord calling you to be a part of my journey in this way, please don't hesitate to email me @ oceansroar@gmail.com , and if you feel lead to invest in prayer - that is so amazing as well, and thank you so much for doing that!

I will continue to write more throughout the week as the Lord does more :)

If you are interested in partnering with our group for free, in helping us fight injustice issues throughout the world - PLEASE do not hesitate to ask how to! We have many ways you can help. Here is one way you can help out:

We have a team here called Sex & Money and they are in a contest to win $50K. This money will go towards fighting against Modern Day Slavery. You can follow this link and vote for it to get higher on the list to win !! You can vote once a day... so PLEASE vote every day to help out !! Click Here To Vote