I was talking to a dear friend and this just kind of came out in conversation. I thought I'd share a bit of my heart, and invite you to dream with me at the end of it.
"The Lord just started showing me how there were places in my heart that weren't ready to fully surrender to Him out of fear of disappointment... Hence those being one of the places I let fear control my life. So I would only make time for the Lord in time slots, so if I was uncomfortable I could use the excuse I had something I needed to do or somewhere I needed to go. This sounds ridiculous as I type it because I'm like He's God why would you fear Him in His perfect love? But I was scared of being disappointed that He wouldn't speak to me, or I would talk to Him and He wouldn't respond, or that it would be uncomfortable and just be me alone.
Then i finally just laid it down. I had 2 hours alone with Him.... and He just began to pour out in a more intimate way that I've ever experienced Him. it was crazy. He painted a picture for me, He took me to a place I had never been. It was like out of a movie, but even better. It was what I would imagine the Kingdom to look like. But He made it only for me and Him, to go whenever I wanted to go.
I'm finding that being under different ministries is amazing because it teaches us a lot about different sides of God... But if you let it control some things that shouldn't be controlled, it can have its downfalls... because everybody has their own view of how they see God. and it's wonderful... but at the same time it's like, am I going to enter into Gods presence with just seeing HIM for who He is, not with a preset of how I've been taught to see Him by other people.
Who would God be and what would He look like if we knew nothing about Him, but entered into a relationship with Him fully unaware of what other people said and only basing it on what He's told us about Himself.
Just imagine it..."
"The Lord just started showing me how there were places in my heart that weren't ready to fully surrender to Him out of fear of disappointment... Hence those being one of the places I let fear control my life. So I would only make time for the Lord in time slots, so if I was uncomfortable I could use the excuse I had something I needed to do or somewhere I needed to go. This sounds ridiculous as I type it because I'm like He's God why would you fear Him in His perfect love? But I was scared of being disappointed that He wouldn't speak to me, or I would talk to Him and He wouldn't respond, or that it would be uncomfortable and just be me alone.
Then i finally just laid it down. I had 2 hours alone with Him.... and He just began to pour out in a more intimate way that I've ever experienced Him. it was crazy. He painted a picture for me, He took me to a place I had never been. It was like out of a movie, but even better. It was what I would imagine the Kingdom to look like. But He made it only for me and Him, to go whenever I wanted to go.
I'm finding that being under different ministries is amazing because it teaches us a lot about different sides of God... But if you let it control some things that shouldn't be controlled, it can have its downfalls... because everybody has their own view of how they see God. and it's wonderful... but at the same time it's like, am I going to enter into Gods presence with just seeing HIM for who He is, not with a preset of how I've been taught to see Him by other people.
Who would God be and what would He look like if we knew nothing about Him, but entered into a relationship with Him fully unaware of what other people said and only basing it on what He's told us about Himself.
Just imagine it..."
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